I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
