Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
