the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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