guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I have post one night stand depression
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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