ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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