Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
