i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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