She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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