You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
