Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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