I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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