He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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