He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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