the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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