i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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