you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
