Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
