I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
