now i know why i became what i already was.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
