Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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