I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
