If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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