Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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