I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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