I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
