If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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