After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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