This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
