How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
