Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
