The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
