its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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