What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Help. Why am I so naked?
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