i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize