Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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