Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
