Don't you send me to vm
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
