Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
