Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
