I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize