I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
