you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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