got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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