This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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