oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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