You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
