i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
