i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize