I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
