Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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