yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
