Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just pee around me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
