It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
