I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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