does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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