last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
