I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I didn't notice because vodka
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
