the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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