me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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