Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
