Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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