We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
