What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
