Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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