He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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