i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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